This is the mixed media blog of James Foreman. He writes things.

Favorite topics include art, history, modern life, pop culture, dating, sex, atheism, science, stories, whimsy, magic, writing and self-deprecation.

You can read a fiction story he wrote in the bestselling Machine of Death anthology, a true story he wrote in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette or a funny thing he wrote for McSweeney's.

He's working on a novel. It's going okay.

Make a time-traveler day

I was thinking: what if I started to time-travel, and I had to do something in my own past but without me (him) seeing it? For instance, a time-traveling version of me from the future might need access to my (our) stuff, or maybe he (I) just wants to reminisce about what his (my) life was like in 2009.

A time-traveling me from the future might not know when the best time to go in into our past is. Sure, I go to work every day but I also lock my door, every time. It’s a little risky, but leaving your house unlocked one day while you know you’re going to be away is a good way to give your time traveling future self a known window of opportunity through which to climb.

Because of the nature of time travel, a time-traveler cannot appear in any place where we know a time traveler did not appear. For instance, a man claiming to be from the future cannot stop the Lincoln assassination because we know that no such thing happened. The only places in the past where time travelers can go are places where time travelers are either known to have appeared or where their presence might go unnoticed.

Here’s how to make the perfect day for your time-traveling self:

1) Have it on a cold or stormy day, to make it less likely that a time-traveling future version of yourself will be seen by out-and-about neighbors.

2) Unlock one door and disable any burglar alarms. Don’t worry if you have pets - your dog or cat will still recognize you, even from the future!

3) Disable any passwords you have on your computer, because your future self will probably have forgotten them and he might want to look at your emails or Facebook page to reminisce (and cringe).

My own time-traveler day is Wednesday, May 20th, 2009. My doors were unlocked all day and nobody was around to see anybody strange. Also, none of my stuff was missing when I got home so I know that nobody took anything.

I wonder what my time-traveling future self did here while I was gone?