Actual Personal Ad I Posted: Top 10 Things My Last Date Said To Me

This is probably unwise, but I’m going to post a bunch of personal ads that I’ve posted over the last few years. I’ve only met a couple of ex girlfriends on the internet, but I’ve made lots of friends. I think my variety of ad attracted like-minded people who just never clicked as romantic partners.

I’ve taken an extended break from using the internet for dates, for reasons I’ll get into at another time (briefly, internet dating has been more a source of frustration and self-loathing than anything else). It just hasn’t been a great medium for me to meet people I want to get to know in every transitive sense of the verb.

Make no mistake - most of these ads received a lot of responses, and I even responded to some of those responses.

This ad was posted to Craigslist Pittsburgh LTR section in November of 2007. It definitely belongs in my self-deprecating cycle

Top 10 Things My Last Date Said To Me

1. It’s just an expression. Put your pants back on.
2. I think it has to involve objective reality before you can call it a “fetish.”
3. Sorry, but I don’t think Chinese restaurants have ketchup. No, not even in the back.
4. So at what point does the amount of a person’s body hair qualify them as a separate species?
5. I don’t even know what that word means. What IS a “cankle?”
6. I had no idea that one man could know so much about Nikola Tesla.
7. I know you’re not actually from here, but yinzers ARE speaking english.
8. While that sounds intriguing, and while I can’t say my curiosity isn’t piqued, I really, really don’t want to see it. No, probably not ever.
9. Was that before or after you tried to flush it?
10. No offense, but you seem like a lot of work.

  1. bulletpointballet posted this